Tuesday, November 10, 2009

GANG RAPE FEMALE CASTRATION CHILD SLAUGHTER YOUR DEAD GRAN LIES DEAD KIDS DROWNED FUCKED KID CUNT CUNT CUNT COCK RAPE MURDER MURDER WOOD BONES MURDER

this is stage one of a campaign



WANTED: FATHER CHRISTMAS

As Father Christmas you will be required to hold short quality interviews with children visiting your grotto, give present and also pose for a photo with each child.Father Christmas. costume and full training will be provided by Great Grottos Ltd. If you can see yourself as Father Christmas for this festive season we would love to hear from you. Good rates of pay coupled with a bonus scheme. Please note that a CRB and ISA check will be required, expense will be met by the employer. Apply online at www.greatgrottos.co.uk or via e-mail/post. Apply online at www.greatgrottos.co.uk or call 02392268998.

I TOLD SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW THAT SOMEONE I LOVE WAS DEAD TODAY WHEN THEY ARE NOT

it happened on the phone
the house i'm in gets called a lot
maybe six times a day
from people who don't know anyone in the house
but want to talk
a lot are from India
a lot are from England
i let them talk
one man spoke for six minutes
i left him on the kitchen table
in the kitchen
on his own
i sat him on the chair
and left the kitchen
when i came back he was still talking
a little bird in a mobile phone
but today i got called by a woman from India
the woman from India asked to speak to someone i love
i said she wasn't in
the woman from India asked when she would be back
and i said she was dead
i looked out of the window and touched the net curtain
the woman from India didn't say anything
then said, i am very sorry
neither of us knew how to stop what was happening
it was raining outside
there were no birds in the garden
i said it happened yesterday
the woman from India said she was very, very sorry
like someone had died
i thought about the person i said had died dying
we said goodbye
......
there are writers you understand
i don't mean you respect or you like or you know
i mean writers you understand
instinctively
you know how they write
why they do what they do
how they think
how they're thinking when they write
i'd put RS Thomas in my pile
i'm reading RS Thomas' collected poems now
there aren't many writers you can put in the pile
and it can take a long walk to find them
time and luck
a lot like love

Monday, November 9, 2009

THE WEEKS HAVE NOT BEEN KIND

cruel weeks cruel weeks
but i think my luck will turn
i've set the table

WANTED: MAGICIAN

Wonderland Entertainment offer a wide range of entertainment services for weddings, parties, corporate events and private functions.

We would very much like to add a magician to our company as many of our clients, particularly for weddings, are requesting this service.

We would add your photo and biography to our website and then contact you with any bookings and pay your fee directly.

Please get in touch with your CV or a description of your experience. If you choose to join the company you are under no obligation and will not be asked to pay anything at any time.

If you would like to know more about Wonderland Entertainment please visit www.wonderlandentertainment.co.uk

Sunday, November 8, 2009

THE FUTURE OF TELEVISION

i worked out the future of television today
i don't know what i get for this working out
but i will show you my working out
the future of television is thus
people singing
people voting
but the people singing don't sing songs
they sing jingles
jingling
the names of products
adverts
the people singing sing adverts
and dress as products
then the public votes
but you can keep this going for 24 hours
because you don't need adverts
see
it works
it's fucking shit and it works
......
the problem with television now
is it is fucking shit
which means
even if you're good
you're shit
so anyone working in, starring on, or involved in anyway in television
is an absolute arse of a cunt
it's like toilets
say a designer, a sculpture, someone like Antony Gormley
comes along and designs the most magnificent toilet
a 90 foot high toilet of the North
a huge Northern toilet
that can be seen from every town in the South
just one huge Sèvres porcelain toilet of the North
so beautiful that throughout the world the North of England becomes synonymous with a gigantic gleaming arse basin
Gormley redesigns the toilet
the toilet is no longer a toilet but a symbol
of hope
and creation
of peace
except every time you see that toilet
on the news, in the magazines, on the internet, on the television
the first thing you think of is shit
even though it was meant to be a symbol of hope
and of peace
a giant symbol of joy
and creation
what you always think of first of all when you see that toilet is shit
shit shit piss shit piss piss shit
and even though you might tell yourself no
of course those bad things
the evil things
the shit and the piss things
might be associated with the toilet
the real meaning
the joy and the hope and the creation
which will always be there
always
beneath the shit and the piss
and long after the piss and the shit have been flushed out across the Northern dales of England
and will one day return to the toilet
it doesn't
all that returns is more shit and more piss
the brown and the yellow
the shit and the shit and the piss
which is television
so now even the good stuff
the stuff which might have stood a chance of being taken seriously
the little glimpses of beauty and magic
the serene still water
can't escape the idea of being shit

THE PEOPLE IN THE BOXES AREN'T YOUR FRIENDS

there are lots of boxes in your house
with people in them
the people speak
you tell your friends about the people in the boxes
about the funny things they say
the silly things they do
sometimes you think the people in the boxes hear you
you imagine meeting all the people in the boxes
you could speak for hours with the people in the boxes
sit down, have a drink, have a chat, the people in the boxes, you'll make them laugh
sometimes you swear you think the same like all the people in the boxes
sometimes you speak exactly like the people in the boxes
but you don't
not like the people in the boxes
the people in the boxes talk
and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk
and talk like all the people in the boxes
the people in the boxes talk with all the people in the boxes
not with you
the people in the boxes talk about all the people in the boxes
not about you
the people in the boxes hate the people in the houses
the people in the boxes hate the people in the houses
the people in the boxes live in boxes with all the people in the boxes
not like you